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tumblr_ms5kgoXcGj1syuvebo1_1280Special Offer but, before you do…

This blog is about gay acrobats, their life and times, their adventures, their love, their love of fitness and, above all, their story, as told in three connected books which get promoted in the posts from time to time! The books are available in both paper form and as e-books from the usual web outlets. We want you to enjoy the pictures and the episodes of our life and times which get posted here, and we also hope that you’ll enjoy a good read…

bc48789155991bicep…wherever you hang out! Feel free to comment, or if you prefer something more private, use e-mail to – always happy to have your thoughts and opinions!

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

Now read on, and join us ‘Living the Dream’…

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The Fit Generation


Watching my 12yo and his two young friends indulging in ‘fitness’ activities 18 hours a day here in the unexpectedly warm and sunny Welsh hills is inspirational for all of us here – my partner Dave and I, and my good friend Colin and his wife (plus younger daughter). The boys are keen to impress us with everything they do (after all, son Leo has been working with a circus for 4 weeks alongside Dave and the others!), so the days are filled with constant wrestling, swimming, acrobatics and tumbling, diving into the barn for weights for a while… overall, making the adults feel quite breathless!



What is really impressing us is that there is no actual competition between the three boys to be ‘the best’. Just as Dave and I (and our friends back in TN) have always done, it has been a case of wanting and encouraging each other to ‘keep up’. Yes, of course there is playfighting and wanting to be the ‘winner’, but if one of them masters (say) a new balance, immediately he is supporting the others in achieving the same result. Makes us three ‘dads’ feel rather good about the philosophy we have obviously passed on to the next generation!

More of our activities here in 3 books:

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

…the story of our (gay) love, acrobatic endeavours, performances and adventures. Give ‘em a try? (e-books available, Amazon etc.).

Which said, let’s open the customary photo gallery for today! You could start by trying out a simple ‘stand on shoulders…


…supported by suitable strength exercises, of course:


Inside the gym too…



10534655_679381275483543_4613483094755172382_n… it’s not just muscle gain, but that overall ‘good’ feeling about yourself! Enjoy the open air (northern hemisphere at least) whilst summer lasts!


reach up


You can still enjoy by moonlight…


Surf’s up!


beefy swimmer

Make sure you have FUN as well as work out hard:


(slightly photoshopped, that one!)


Keep up the effort, and it won’t be long before you can see those all-important ‘rips’…



And remember, ‘doing it together’ helps to bring everyone along faster…


(check out those abs!)

Who said the ‘stag’ stance was only for the ladies?


So, whatever generation you are, WAKE UP!! – get fit and be a ‘game changer’!









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Sexual Chemistry for Beginners

noah kane 01

The British Sunday papers afford some interesting reading, and it was a piece about whether male sweat attracts women that caught my attention at the weekend. So here, being a gay guy’s blog, we’ll adapt that slightly (!) and discuss how male sweat attracts other gay males…

sweaty gym guy 2

It seems to be a case of ‘New sweat good, old sweat bad’ – at least as far as the ladies are concerned.

Well, we all get pretty sweaty in the gym…


good work

…and I quite like it when other guys get close…

SP010812 (189)

…because it always makes me horny. So many gay wrestling bouts end in (at least) a jerk-off… Well, now I know.


Fresh male sweat is rich in androstenol. This is a fatty-acid alcohol and is attractive to females and any guys who like men. After about 20 minutes in the air, it becomes oxidised to a ketone, androstenone, which is significantly less pleasing to the girls. But, you know, I rather like that as well, especially as in most cases any partner I’m training with (I nearly said ‘playing with’) is still producing the ‘good’ chemical by the bucketload alongside the oxidised form.

And they wonder why gay guys like to get up close and shirtless!


hand in hand


The Sunday Times piece goes on to say that the sexual magic only works (for the ladies) at a distance of less than 18 inches. All I can say is – the writer should visit our gym… the scent hits you as you open the door…

If you are likely to be excited by the aroma of hot males, then you might be excited by these:

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

our story of finding gay love, coming out, indulging in body-contact sports and acrobatics, having fun, and having a few scares! e-books available from the usual sources…

The first book...Now, where was I? Oh yes… hot male bodies. Right then:





But this post is all about getting up close to one another…


…and, OK, comparing your muscles as well as your, erm, odours…



…and muscles are for being used, if only for some nefarious activity…


Two fine specimens!

And, of course, for Dave and I, it is definitely the scent of the armpits to ‘rouse’ us, first thing in the morning. And, by the way, we don’t share our bed with a dog…




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Boy Heaven (Don’t Jump to Conclusions…)


My old friend Colin and his wife brought their two kids, my son and his friend Chris down to the cottage in Wales yesterday. There aren’t many opportunities for kids to run totally wild these days, but here at Cefn Derwen, perhaps this is one of them. No-one else for miles, trees to climb, a swimming hole in the river, warm weather plus the occasional warm downpour to liven things up…

These are fit kids, as this blog regularly tells, so as soon as they arrived it was no shirts or shoes and off into the wild, returning to the house only for food and drink. The first time they came back they were down to underpants; after that nothing. Chests smeared in mud, wrestling, happy…

They decided to bivouac for the night, so Dave, Colin and I helped to construct something reasonably waterproof. I sneaked out early this morning to check they were OK, and peered in. Three naked boys, a jumble of arms and legs, the blankets we had issued long-since kicked off, but warm and sleeping peacefully. ‘The bestest friends in the whole world’, as Colin’s nearly 11yo Ollie puts it.


Did we join in any of this stuff? You bet. Colin and his wife Natasha are ex-gymnasts and seriously fit too. And, of course, we have our little gym here, and everyone makes good use of that. ‘Tash and Ollie’s little sister are a little less extrovert than the rest of us, and volunteered to make dinner whilst the rest of us pretended we were carefree 12yo’s again.


Colin’s not gay, of course, although he knew I was when we were aged about 12, long before I did: but Dave and I have had plenty of gay fun too with our local friends Tom and Iestyn. They are keen squash players and runners, and use our weights here, so are very fit: very keen to wrestle with us and get up close and nakedly comfortable (we draw the line at full (ahem) insertion, as both couples have codes to follow), but pretty much anything else can be shared!



Cover1 ThumbCover2 ThumbLet’s just make one thing clear, for people who worry about such things. My life as a gay dad with a loving partner Dave and our friends is totally separated from my life as a loving father of a seriously straight boy and his straight friends, and the issues are never mixed. Son Leo fully understands our situation and has grown up with his lesbian mum in her relationship and me in mine. He feels blessed to effectively have two mums and two dads (as does Dave’s daughter, who has remained in Tennessee this vacation) and these books describe how I found gay love, became a gay dad, enjoyed our sports and circus life and got into a bit of trouble with my friends along the way.

Cover 3 ThumbI feel obligated to make this statement (especially in a post with this title) since last week the British authorities made plain that they have evidence against ten thousand (yes, 10,000!!) alleged paedophiles and have arrested 660 of them… we are NOT, ABSOLUTELY NOT, into that, and the assorted kids can run around this place half naked without any risk from us. Dave and I coach gymnastics at all ages, and both of us have child-protection qualifications and criminal-record checks in place. Just saying…

…especially as, like most gay guys, we enjoying looking at pictures of fit young men. And, as Colin has just pointed out after peering over my shoulder at what I am writing here, that his wife Natasha likes looking at fit young men as well!!!

So, ‘Boy Heaven’ – that post title, simply refers to how the kids view this place. Actually, it’s ‘heaven’ for boys of all ages, including ourselves. And probably also for any girls that get to come here, it’s ‘Girl Heaven’ too.

Read the tattoo:


OK, sermon over. Actually I never intended to say all that when I started – it’s just kind of come out.

Even ‘Ryan’s homophobe dad (Ryan is the fourth member of the transatlantic Leo/Chris/Ollie “fit boys” partnership, back in TN!)  was finally convinced he could trust us with his son’s training after initially forbidding him even to have contact with Leo outside school (where he couldn’t prevent it).

Respect for our kids (and for ALL kids), respect for individual’s lifestyles, and respect for guys who have clearly put in the effort to build great physiques!



speedo from below


red undies strong






So there we are, a fair old selection. Colin and ‘Tash have invited us all for a pub lunch, so time to stop. Guess the kids will have to put an actual shirt on for that!! Better go and yell for them to come in, and clean them up!

Remember, gay or straight, it’s OK to have fun with your same-sex friends, especially in public:


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Busy Doin’ Nuthin…


A superb start to our break in Wales. Youngsters left in Oxford until the weekend, no-one else here, blazing sunshine… sunbathing naked, needing no more than a pair of brief shorts all day (we can hear anyone like the postman showing up here long before they get up the track!). Dave looking fantastically fit after 48 acrobatic/endurance shows, me working slowly back to full fitness with the gym kit we have assembled here, albeit with one leg larger than the other, which Dave affects not to notice!

The spell slightly broken by a thunderstorm last night and this morning (Friday) looks like more rain on the way, but who cares. We’re on vacation!! In our very own ‘Cefn Derwen’!!

This is where we have invested our ‘ill-gotten gains’ from our circus and coaching work over the years. Yes, we have a share in the house back in Tennessee, but that’s not the same as your actual OWN house! Just wish we could be here more often, but all the remaining weeks almost up to Christmas are booked out to holidaymakers, once our month is up.

How we got to this point? See

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

Good beach reading for any gay-friendly sporty folk liking a bit of (mis)adventure thrown in.

As usual, we showcase sporty guys – as much for our own enjoyment as yours:





We’ve the rest of today to enjoy ‘being together’…


Then, this evening, we’ll be having a bit of this with our local gay friends Tom and Iestyn… but probably not on the kitchen table…

table top

(and our cottage does not look quite that ornate, either!)

Tom and Iestyn have been using our weights equipment regularly, so we’ll be keen to check out their progress…



(our gym equipment here isn’t that ornate, either… but we do have the mirrors…)

Maybe out to the beach for some fun before long…



We have our own swimming hole in the river here, of course, but the water is rather low right now…


…but still great for the little tarzans when they get here…


OK. A few more great physiques to finish off the post:

bw speedo lad



fine build

And todays ‘finalist’ seems to have ben in a water fight after being gently oiled… a great BW pic though. Enjoy your day!



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All Mapped Out

By the time you read this, Dave and I, my son Leo and his best friend Chris should be in UK.

My good doctor friend Nate insisted on mapping out my blood flow and pressure in both legs and arms yesterday – eight measurements plus listening to the blood pulsing around my veins through a loudspeaker. This is a guy who wrestles me naked at every opportunity, then turns absurdly professional in his calling when he has me flat out on his table in his office! Thanks, mate. I’m now going to be in the care of ‘Gwasanaeth Iechyd Gymru’, the Welsh health service, which as a Brit I can still get free treatment. Hopefully just monitoring blood levels once or twice as my left leg continues to diminish in size.

Boys to spend a few days in Oxford living at my parents whilst spending time with their other great fitness/gymnast pal Ollie (still absurdly at school, four weeks after the US kids got out for the summer) – Dave and I go more or less straight off to our place in Wales. The next four weeks are ‘all mapped out’ too. Fun and relaxation; Ollie’s family joining us at the weekend.

So: let’s celebrate a ‘fit’ summer break!





beach stretch

bruce weber bromance (5)










volleyball 2

I hope that your summer break is also ‘All Mapped Out’. We just need the British weather to cooperate now – drizzling rain as we landed in London but higher temperatures are promised.

Cover1 ThumbCover2 ThumbCover 3 ThumbI have some important reading to do, also. And, of course, I offer the three volumes shown here (click on for details) for your enlightenment regarding gay love, acrobatics-circus stuff and some adventure, should you need some beach reading yourselves! And, who knows, I may complete a bit more of the new book.

Whatever you do this summer, be sure to enjoy yourselves!




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Bring On the Oxytocin

bw pair

Well, the guys (along with son Leo and Dave’s daughter Jaymee) are back from the circus tour, and we are shortly off to UK.  However, we have just enjoyed 24 hours with the whole ten of us Tuan Jie guys, celebrating our reunion in the customary (gay) way – all sworn ‘clean’ and available to each other. Well, I’ve gone on before about how that works… see the books for how we got it together (links at the end). Of course, a special welcome home for my Dave… skin on skin, said to raise ones oxytocin levels, which is the peptide that brings on that special sense of wellbeing during love making…

So I’m probably ‘high’ on that as well as one the other drugs the medics are currently forcing into me.

Today, then, we celebrate that special maleness and togetherness which gay guys enjoy, with some appropriate ‘fit’ and ‘muscle’ pics.


Add a whiff of pheromones to the oxytocin and we’re really in business:

armpits 5


Whilst we’re on the street bars…


Packing on the muscle in the gym:


Always warm up with just the bar (20kg):


…then move on to the heavier stuff…


Indoor pull-up bars are great workouts too…


Then, of course, the great pleasure in ‘doing it together’… that ‘skin-on-skin’ thing again…

GERMANY. At the Baltic Sea. 1933. Wrestling boys.

…especially the ‘chill-out’ phase…




…sharing your dream – whatever it may be…


Find time, of course, to check out the other guys… Japanese interlude…


Have fun…


…share a healthy diet with your shirtless mates…

011026 (778)

If you get to the beach, check out the talent…


…whilst you stay in training…


Back where we began… a good night’s sleep, loving bodies pressed together…


Oh yes, I nearly forgot…

Links to the ‘Living the Dream’ trilogy, for your beach reading material…

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

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Remember Kadian


Down to Earth with a bump. There I am, banging on about how proud I am of my son in my last post… then the very next day, in my e-version of The London Times, I find a review of the book ‘Kadian Journal’, written by his grieving father. Kadian, at age 14, was riding a bike (which had just had the brakes checked in a local bike shop) on the Berkshire Downs, not far from where my parents live in UK. On a steep downward slope, both brakes failed and, desperately trying to stop, he shot across the main road at the bottom out of control, straight into the path of a van. In front of his father, he was killed instantly.

kadian 1

I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to lose a son of whom you are so immensely proud. I can tell you, it made me think very hard. How fortunate I am. How I suddenly want to put my arms around my boy and keep him from harm. Always.

Kadian’s father, like me, is also an author, but this book, ‘Kadian Journal, A Father’s Story’, must have been hellish to write. At the same time, perhaps a way of dealing with the grieving process. The reviewer describes the book as ‘A memoir, a threnody, and a love song.’ I am ordering it to be delivered to our Welsh address, and I know there are going to be some tears when I read it over the next few weeks whilst we are there.

kadian%20journalI know I’m always rabbiting on trying to get you guys to buy my books. Not this time. I want you to go and get this book, by Thomas Harding, published by Heinemann at £16.99 in the UK, but available at £13.99 by calling (UK) 0845 271 2134 (The Times Book Shop’). e-book is also available at £8.49. I don’t have prices for US, but it will undoubtedly be available there soon and in other countries too.


You can see the rest of this article, and abridgement of part of the Kadian Journal, HERE.

If you are fortunate enough to have kids, love them and treasure every moment. Each moment could be your last…

When this book arrives, I am going to share it with Leo. A lesson for him, always to be careful and to think of his own safety. A lesson for all of us on how Kadian’s family dealt with his death… Thomas Harding writes: “I am still in the well, but I am climbing now. The walls are wet and slippery, I scrape my knees and elbows on the sharp craggy edges, but I am climbing. I know which way I am going. Up.”

RIP Kadian. You seem to have lived your life to the full, and you deserved better than this.


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‘Mad About the Boy’

Unsubtle reference there to the gay hints included by Mr Noel Coward in his songwriting (I think it is one of his – not my specialist subject)… but a good theme for today’s post. Here’s a nice example:


Tomorrow my 12yo son Leo will end his 48th (and, for now, last) professional circus show by reclining full length on his bed of nails whilst Dave smashes a concrete slab on his chest and stomach. Wielding the sledgehammer should have been my job, except for my leg forcing me out of the show (swear).

Dave’s same-age daughter is in the show too, displaying her balance and gymnastic talents and also working on fire stuff with the girls. A talented pair of kids.

Leo has thrown himself into his training insanely hard. Excellent arm-balancer (on one of the other guys), excellent base for Jaymee’s balances, tumbler, endurance stuff on the nails and glass, amazing body for his age… and becoming an expert at ‘working’ the crowd. Both kids have been attracting attention from autograph hunters: in Leo’s case, the boys all want to be him and the girls all want to fall in love with him – which he enjoys enormously, let me say!

He’s going to have to come down with a thump, though: in three days he’ll be in UK with Dave and I and his friend Chris, to join up with their 10yo partner-in-crime Ollie, son of my oldest friend. Last year they made a pact to be the fittest and strongest boys in the world and, boy, they’ve all three certainly worked on it.

Whilst I’ve been stuck here, Chris’s dad and I have been working hard on Chris’s balance and strength (his older brother is a bodybuilder, so it isn’t so hard for him), along with another of Leo’s friends, ‘Ryan’, son of a homophobe but one who, fortunately, seems to have decided that we’re not out to rape his son just because we are gay. Both lads are doing just great. ‘Ryan’ doesn’t get to the UK, though – that would be a step too far for ‘phobodad’ – at least for now.

I am starting to see my own performing role coming to an end (although my leg gets better each day), and the next generation taking over. I suppose that’s how it is meant to be…

Cover1 FullCover2 FullI guess I can always sit in my armchair and re-read the books which chronicle our start in the ‘business’ of circus entertainment… along with the discovery of gay love (Dave!) and so forth… and the (mis)adventures which followed. There… contemplating retirement in the low thirty-somethings. That’s dismal! Come on Tone… get real. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life (with Dave and the others…)… no, in reality, I’m formally allowed to get back on the weight training next week, so the little gym we’ve set up in our barn in Wales will be put to very good use indeed for the next four weeks whilst we’re in UK. And then, years of coaching ahead…Cover 3 Full

OK. Time for the customary fitness inspiration! First, an invitation (I have no idea who/where this dude is, before you ask):


Training outside with the guys (and the cameras!):


On the bars…


On the cables…

Ben Booker 2

On the rings…


On the silks…


Maybe try some serious lifts:


…followed by a bit of showing off…


More of the same…




Then, when it’s just the two of you, at the end of the day, you can definitely be ‘Mad About the Boy’… your boy!


I am really looking forward to having Dave back alongside me in bed tomorrow night. Mad about My Boy… why not?My other younger boy (Leo) will be sound asleep, probably dreaming of girls or his next circus tour. Gay? No, not Leo. Whereas Dave…

In fact, I’m so looking forward to having Dave back, I’m going to post a picture with an animal in it that I normally ban… Dave has a thing about cats, although we’ve never had one…

…welcome back, Dave!

scary cat

Just keep that thing on your side of the bed…

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Timeshifting and Shapeshifting

I’m still trying to get my body to figure out why time shifted by thirteen hours (or eleven, depending on which way you look at it) twice in seven days! Anyways, back in TN and a lot of sleeping. It’s not going to be long before Dave and I plus Leo and his friend Chris shift another five hours and decamp to Wales UK for four weeks… yes, they’ll all be leaving the circus tour after Friday’s show, as planned, and coming home for the weekend before the four of us set off.

Plane rides are kewl (four last week, two next week to get us to London), but you can have too much of a good thing.

There’ll be a bit of togetherness as soon as Dave gets back!

011026 (696)

love him


As for the ‘shapeshifting’ reference in this post’s title… well, it’s the leg. It is, finally, very slowly reducing in size. Maybe plane rides with lowered pressure are good but, for the moment, I’m still rather self-conscious about one leg being larger than the other. But, each day, things get better.

Cover1 ThumbCover2 ThumbJust as they did back when, as described in the books. Even in the face of adversity. And there’s plenty of gay stuff in there as well as the acrobatics and the adventure.

Cover 3 ThumbEnd of commercial.

Let’s move on to a random mix of great fitness inspiration: try a balance on thumbs alone for starters…


I just tried this. I have two very painful thumbs now, and it wasn’t very successful for more than a fraction of a second. Gotta admire these street workout guys…

011026 (44)

Actually, there are other ways to do a workout on your thumbs which are more pleasurable…


Two looking good:


Three looking good too (gymnasts):


If the UK weather holds up (it is forecast to be hot), Dave and I and the boys will soon be basking on the rocks by the sea…

Full Body Shirtless78

…or this…



Definitely ready to swim (sneak in quick, hiding the leg)!


I’ll need to get my upper body back in shape, now the doc says the time for exercise has come:



Meanwhile, the real joy will be having Dave back in my bed…


Gosh, I’m all overcome, just thinking about that. Just four days to go…


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Dol Hareubang


OK, one more from Jeju Korea before I head home on Sunday morning. The island “without beggars, thieves and locked gates” and with an abundance of “women, wind and stones”. Something for everyone then!

I mentioned that these guys are everywhere. This is Dol Hareubang, which literally translated means ‘Old Grandfather’. He is the symbol of Jeju Island.


Always one hand above the other on his tummy, pupil-less eyes and a wry smile. Three theories: brought here by foreigners from across the sea, symbolic of mushrooms (magic?), or a fertility symbol. Now do excuse me, a gay guy on the loose on Jeju but, if you use your imagination a little, maybe tip the picture on its side, doesn’t the pointy-hat bit remind you of anything? Maybe need to consult a wise scholar:


…or maybe a peasant from older times (this one is a dummy, an exhibit at the folk museum).


OK, enough showing off from me about my unexpected trip. An overnight at Seoul Incheon airport tomorrow after the short flight to the mainland and a train transfer, then it’ll be navigating the enhanced security just imposed on flights to the US. Happy days (?).

It’s been a great – and seriously unexpected – break for me after having to pull out of the circus tour because of my wretched leg. But I am definitely more mobile – walked four kilometres today, and the exercise seems to be working, if very slowly. Back on light weights when I get back, I hope. We’ll see.


I guess a pic of a Korean guy on dumbbells fits in well to this post…


Pull-ups should be OK…


Seated shoulder presses should be OK, too:


Cable pulls for the triceps will be fine:


…to balance the work on biceps:


…but I think I’ll be keeping my training pants on for a bit, like this guy:


I’ll need a while to get back into proper shape after nearly four weeks of relative inactivity, so I need the inspirational pics as much as any other reader right now! Here we are, then…






Ben Bowers

Before the last pic for today, let me just sneak in the usual blatant snare to persuade you to click on the book links!

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

There. Job done. Time for a swim.


It’s dark here in Jeju now, but that doesn’t stop the swimming at Dumjang beach. And hopefully no-one will notice my leg…


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