Atonement

Our recently-acquired native American friend ‘Three Rivers’ seems slowly to be getting more relaxed. Having been punished for his homosexuality by his own community, and effectively banished, he’s still finding it hard to accept that ‘its OK to be gay’ in our company and in our gym and training cabin. He’s a very flexible guy thanks to a yoga background, but we’ve agreed he can safely add a little muscle…

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…but, of course, we still want him to be able to sit on his own head and all that clever contortionist stuff, so not too much muscle!

The greatest joy for us though is watching him relax a little bit in our company. His gay sex drive is huge – and he finds he needs to seek relief – or be given it – very soon after entering the gym surrounded by sweaty, muscular and frequently naked guys. Even when others join him, he still bears a huge sense of guilt immediately afterwards, and punishes himself – or asks to be punished – by enduring various discomforts – on the nail bed, getting whipped across the back, and so forth.

tumblr_mmcx9vcPM91rjdph5o1_1280There are, of course, fetish guys around who like to get tied up and beaten, subjected to weights being attached to their bodies in unpleasant ways, and so forth. Yes, we’ve sampled it, Dave and I, and it can be fun – for a while – but it’s not something we seek out on any regular basis. We prefer our ‘punishment’ in the form of challenging weights programmes worked around our equally challenging acrobatic work.tumblr_mn7pezN9hg1rcymxdo1_1280

Three Rivers (‘3R’), however, seems to have a mental thing that he still deserves punishment for being gay, and that this is a way to ‘atone’ for his God-given sexuality. He doesn’t see it as being his own true self, he doesn’t see it as being ‘natural’ for him to be one of the 7% or however many it is… he rather sees it as being something he cannot help, enjoys, but should then be punished for. I wonder if this is a Native American thing, or just him. Clearly it is a view instilled into him by the tribal elders who basically banished him from his own community.

We’ve discussed this with our other gay friends, and we cannot decide whether we should just carry on gently urging him to recognise his lifestyle and enjoy it, or whether actually to encourage him to take part in more S&M stuff courtesy of our colleague Cody and his basement of fun.

This one also in e-bookCover2 Thumband, finally...There are a few descriptions of adventures in Cody’s fun basement in the books, particularly the first two. Cody runs it as a sort of business, and assorted groups of rather seedy guys (and occasionally girls) show up in his remote dwelling from time to time to spend time indulging their fantasies. We have debated whether ‘3R’ would be happier living with Cody and Adge in their rather feral environment in the woods than with the two young ‘gay-but-regular’ guys he currently house-shares with. The present set-up is very convenient for his jobs (at a hand car wash and also cleaning in Chad’s gym) – he doesn’t have a car but could ride a bike down the tracks from Cody’s place I suppose. I guess we don’t like to interfere too much, but the two guys he’s currently with are finding him slightly challenging in that he keeps so much to himself.

Oh well, I guess it is just going to take time – a LOT of time – for ‘3R’ to settle. And, given his wanderlust nature, one day he might just take off again… probably just as he arrived in Oak Ridge – shirtless, barefoot and a pair of 3/4 jeans rolled up above the knee.

Any psychoanalysts out there, your views are welcome on how to approach a troubled but otherwise great guy whose past seems to have slightly shackled his brain thanks to the prejudice of his elders… and I’m sure, by the way, that the death of both of his parents a few years ago in an accident cannot have helped. We carry on our gay lifestyles around him, slowly draw him in, and hope for the best. And we share many things which interest him – as I have previously noted, he is working with Ivo on an acrobatic performance which will be included in the short tour we’re about to embark on – and the car-wash dude has assured us that he can return to his job there when he comes back. We’ve done what we can for him – and, perhaps, for now, we’ve done enough.

Some more fitness inspiration, then:

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67676767 (2)

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blog (4)

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balcony

bathroom

Benni

blog (5)

check out abs

built jeans

and finally (for now)…

gymboy

Don’t just drool over the pix, guys – dust off that gym membership and get working. It’s never too late…

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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