Child Psychology

Since we have been sharing our Welsh vacation with (up to) 7 kids (and assorted numbers of parents), Dave and I have been studying their behaviour patterns with some interest. Conclusion: boys are different from girls! Now, before you say ‘don’t be silly’, what I mean is how the groups worked out. Dave’s lovely daughter Jaymee at 11yo was at least three years older than any of the other 3 girls who came up from our Oxford friend’s families: she kind of took charge (mother instinct!), not exactly ordering them around but more keeping them under her wing. She is far more sporty than any of the other girls, but excelled in her role as hostess and clearly enjoyed her ‘senior’ status.

With the boys – my Leo and his best friend Chris at 11yo and from Oak Ridge, alongside 9yo Ollie from Oxford – here we also expected a show of superiority from the older ones, although they are always respectful and we didn’t expect trouble exactly. But what we didn’t expect either is that they accepted Ollie as an equal partner right from the outset. Since Leo and Chris are fervently sporty (weights for both, acrobatics for Leo and Chris is learning tumbling too!), the fact that Ollie is the son of two ex-gymnasts and is excelling in his local club certainly made up for his lack of years and gained him respect from the older two at once, along with his willingness to try everything they could do and to join in with everything they suggested, including getting his shirt of and jumping in the river, wrestling in the mud…

..and so, as I reported recently, the three boys solemnly swore to be lifelong friends, there was no ‘leader’, no rivalry and, quite frankly, I’m proud of all of them, as is Colin, Ollie’s dad. Ollie leaves us tomorrow, leaving us with just the three kids (our own and Chris), and Jaymee’s British granny arrives on Sunday…

Heigh Ho!

Let’s share some pictures of boys being close friends (and more), and then mention some books which are NOT on Child Psychology!

(1) The ‘muscle club’ out to impress as a group:


(2) Just posing for the camera for fun? Or is there more to this…?


(3) Aaah, well… yes…


(4) A well-matched pair…?


(5) Echoes of Griff Rhys Jones and the late Mel Smith? (Brits will understand…)


(6) A strange pose, this one, to say the least…


(7) “There were four in the bed and the little one said… Roll Over…”!


(8) “You’re all mine…”


(9) Oh, these two don’t look so happy…


(10) …whereas, these three do!


(11) A tender moment…


(12) Of course, it will all end up in bed…


Leo, Chris and Ollie have exhibited the same kind of ‘sharing and caring’ relationship that we enjoy within our extended gay group Tuan Jie – except that they aren’t gay, as the constant chatter about girls will testify! I would like to think that Leo inherited his caring manner from me, but the real joy for me is that he has it. Although the Atlantic will stand between Ollie and the one side and Leo and Chris on the other, I’m sure they’ll remain the very best of friends.

Waterstone's Piccadilly 2No child psychology in these books of mine, but a great deal about the magic of being gay, finding love and sharing it, keeping it… oh, and a bit about what we like doing – acrobatics, performing, gym stuff, along with asome less plain sailing when some nasty characters crossed our paths. Vol 3, Against All Odds, is also out there in paper form but the e-book has been delayed for some reason and I am on the case.

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

I’d love for you to give them a chance so, if you don’t read much yourself, buy one for your partner to take to bed!

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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1 Response to Child Psychology

  1. Steve says:

    Those photos are marvelous. The first of the three young musclemen is perfection indeed.

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