Attitudes: ‘Highgate 10 : India 0’ – It WILL Get Better


After the “are you proud to be gay” question I addressed in a recent post, two unrelated things happened which have kept this subject ‘on the boil’. My electronic copy of the London Times newspaper carried an article describing the first school in the UK to officially support a LTGB lunch-time club, and a sad post from ‘Nick’, and Indian gay guy appeared on his blog – ‘Will It Get Better’ – explaining his lack of posts for over three months. A quote from his post:

“In Dec 2013, the Supreme Court of India re-instated an archaic law that punishes “carnal intercourse against the order of nature” with life imprisonment – in effect referring to gay sex. The public discussion that followed compelled me to be vocal about my support for the LGBTQ community and on an impulse I came out to my father.

The repercussions were far from pretty. Not only did he completely reject my sexuality he also threatened to put a bullet through his head if I did not agree to ‘change’ . I finally agreed to see a psychiatrist hoping my father would listen to a professional. And the pysch ended up telling me that it was just a phase and I could get over it if I start hanging around girls.

Since then I have been living a double life – Lying to my father about trying to change and hiding every aspect of my relationship. It has driven me to the verge of suicide several times. Lucky for me, I found a therapist who was sympathetic and understanding and helped me a lot . She taught me to distract myself in the moments of extreme darkness and find a vent so that is what i am doing today…. right now…… coz I feel like dying more often than even I dare to admit to myself.”

Luckily, ‘Nick’ has a devoted partner ‘Rhys’ – you can understand why they don’t use their real names – supporting him in his dark moments. We can only wish them well and pray that ‘It Will get Better’ and that future Indian governments can be more enlightened. Please visit the site and add some supporting comments as I have done.

Meanwhile, in that private school in Highgate, London, the club (attended by more straight kids than gays, apparently, and by numerous ‘straight’ staff) which is run with full support of parents and teachers by a gay (male) teacher) provides a forum to discuss matters openly: the article I read focussed on a couple of girls who used it as a means to ‘come out’ to their friends in the school and it results in support for them from the straight kids rather than bullying and abuse. What a wonderful situation to have been created, educating and supporting kids of all ages (there is no lower ‘age limit’) in matters of sexuality – and what a contrast to those unenlightened nations who persist in denial and criminalisation of homosexuality – are you listening, Putin??

Meanwhile, to more cheerful matters: pictures on our usual themes: love and affection, first…




Moving on: being silly (and why not?)…


_buddies 4

Being tender…





Finding the right balance with your partner…



So, work on looking good for him…



gym tattoo

…and then, and above all, be grateful for what you have…love:


…my theme!

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Here’s to a great future for ‘Nick’ and ‘Rhys’: however bleak it seems, be true to yourselves and It WILL Get Better

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7


About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Attitudes: ‘Highgate 10 : India 0’ – It WILL Get Better

  1. Pingback: Musing in the Moonlight | Tony Cavanagh

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.