If my previous post going on about the antics of our closed group of gay guys was a bit explicit, then apologies. It was probably provoked (in part) by the same person who asked a while back ‘Why are you Gay?’ I reflected on that question a long time and, as a UK reader pointed out to me, I should perhaps have responded ‘Why Are You Straight?’ because it is a question with no obvious answer. Basically, I like men, he likes women. Asking ‘why?’ opens up a whole new can of worms.
This time, he asked me a different question: what do I find attractive in men? Because I like this guy and his family, and he’s easy to talk to, I pushed the matter, asking him what attracted him to women. Basically – their looks (he admires their appearance), he like their touch on his body ad the feel of theirs, he enjoys sex with women (copiously, I think, before he married), he likes to kiss (mainly his wife now, I hope), and (after feeding him an extra beer, this one) he loves to feel his wife’s smooth body sliding against his as they participate very fully and energetically in (presumably) monogamous sexual adventures.
‘OK’, I said, ‘You’ve answered the question. It’s just that my DNA makes me want to experience all of that with another guy, rather than a woman.’
‘But you had a kid with Clare…’ OK, that’s a fair question too, because it’s true. All I can say about that is that there were really special circumstances – it took some doing (see my first and second books, since the first one ends exactly when the decision to ‘go for it’ was taken!) – and more and more gay men are admitting how much they would love to have a family… Leo has brought both Clare and I immense joy and I find it hard to imagine life without him after nearly 13 amazing years… but I digress.
Mr Galsworthy coined the title of this post many years ago, for a play which had nothing to do with gay sex (nor, in any explicit way, straight sex either!). But my conversation with this guy moved on until we were talking about wrestling. His son is in the same Middle School wrestle team as Leo. I said that Dave and I enjoyed frequent wrestling matches, but submission style, not collegiate. Basically that means you continue until one guy is forced to submit to the other: may go to ‘best of three’ or whatever. Pretty much ‘no holds barred’, although we do draw the line at eye gouging and anything potentially injurious.
I eventually admitted that we do (in private) mostly wrestle naked amongst our group and in Chad’s private gym. Sometimes we start in underwear or Speedos, but they usually get pulled off, so ‘what the heck, let’s go naked’ prevails. I described all the things he described to me about his relations with women, blow by blow: standing opposite your opponent (who is almost always a close friend), admiring his body – the firmness of the muscle, the lack of fat, ripped abs, strong arms and so forth. Sometimes we apply oil first, rubbing over each other’s body in a way which is always highly sensual (and, I might say, equally sensual for the straight guys in the gym as well, who frequently and willingly participate). Just as that guy surely does with his wife, we enjoy the scent of another male standing next to us – pheromones work for gays as well as straights – and especially, as the struggle begins, the increasing sweat release adds to the atmosphere as our bodies come close and get entangled, his sweat mingling with mine, his skin sliding against mine…
Is it surprising then, that the effect is usually to arouse both guys (even the straights)? Being naked allows additional holds to be achieved on your opponents manhood, which adds some ‘spice’ to the bout and most definitely adds to the arousal. Gays and straights alike, at the end of such a struggle, often find a need to relieve themselves, and the gays more often than not will do it in a mutual way – at least, the so-called ‘helping hand’: maybe more. Nuff said.
‘That sure sounds more fun than what Vaughan [his son] is doing at school!’ said the guy, accepting another beer. Who knows – one day he might just come around to our training cabin at the top of the yard and try out the submission style – our ‘Skin Game’ – himself! OK, he’s welcome: he needs to get a bit fitter first I think: no, actually, he needs to get a lot fitter. But, to give the guy his due, he says what he thinks, and has no issues at all with having gay friends and neighbours (well, about 300 yards away), unlike a majority in ultra-conservative Tennessee.
OK, I admit it (as all my gay mates would too). The feel of another guy close up and personal – whatever the circumstances – is a magic feeling for me…
Partly, it’s that ‘acceptance’ thing again. “He’s willing to have me… desires to have me… up close, against his body. I’m good enough.” It’s a kind of need for me, to have guys demonstrate that I’m a suitable member of the pack: fit enough, strong enough, desirable enough… and by showing love, as well as these basic ‘instinct’ things, well, that’s what it’s all about. Being there for the other guy, even as you twist him into a ‘backbreaker-across-the-knee’ or that splendidly named hold, the ‘spladdle’!
Does any of that make even the remotest sense?
OK, enough of this emotional twaddle. Another reader points out that he likes the pictures posted here, but he’s interested in muscle. Right, since we’ve brought wrestling into this and wrestlers need exactly that, let’s admire a few muscular torsos:
Well, I hope that those keep the juices flowing for you until next time. I leave you with a final ‘skin-on-skin’ example.. there’s something about pool tables and gay porn – don’t ask me why! But just looking at those chests pressed together… I need to go find Dave…