Touching the Boy

A short series of posts exploring the five senses as applied to the love of my life, Dave, and our close and intimate friends. You may find this “a bit gay” but, well, we are what we are!


Just be aware that neither of us ever had any involvement with a ‘sex-hungry’ wife, though!!!!!

I guess what follows here is a bit emotional too (so maybe just flip through the pictures and don’t read the words!)… perhaps brought on by my own little brush with a life-threatening medical problem at the beginning of June, and realising even more what Dave means to me, along with the loving support of our dearest friends. So it’s all kind of pouring out… sorry

Part 1: Touch

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Touching him. I wake in the morning and find my chest pressed gently against his back. My skin against his warm body, my left arm across his hips and my fingers raking gently through the rather unruly hair just above his manhood. My right hand ruffles the usually unkempt hair on his head.


He sighs and wakes, our bodies now sliding together, skin against skin. So sensual. He twists his head around, seeking our first morning kiss. Lips pressed against mine…


My left hand slides lower, encouraging his manhood to spring into life for what will develop into those wonderful sensations for both of us as we become united in the expression of our love. Before that, though, one of us will usually turn around so that we can jointly deploy our lips and share the erotic pleasures of what is called the ’69’…

This is my Dave. The guy I have shared more than half of my life with. Dave, whose body is just perfect from head to toe. Tanned (we both worship the sun) and glowing with health and energy. I love to press his feet against my face, warm fragrant soles and toes which I can nibble and suck. Dave’s attention to personal hygiene is immaculate: his feet are surely the sweetest on the planet…

My hands move around his body, feeling and admiring his muscle. Like me, he has trained ferociously over some 15 years to develop strength and muscle tone without adding unnecessary bulk as we need to maintain flexibility as well as develop strength for acrobatics…

one built bicep boi

There is never competition between Dave and me – nor indeed between us and our other close mates. It’s all about keeping pace with one another… helping one another along so we can all be the best, and make a fantastic team…




Sometimes, after our workouts, we exchange massage. The magic of his fingertips against my aching shoulders…

All these things we enjoy as committed partners, but we also share with eight other chosen companions (four other devoted couples) because we have sworn never to engage in penetrative sexual activity outside the group of ten… so we can share the love without artificial barriers between our bodies. The enjoyment of skin against skin is shared much more widely, of course, through wrestling and partner training exercises. Massage, too: our friend Zach is a master of the art though self-taught, and we all luxuriate in his sensual touch, using feet on our backs as well as his hands. We’re all most definitely the barefoot and shirtless boys around here and, in our private premises, would rarely see any need to have clothing at all as we sweat over the training, friendly arms around shoulders…

sweaty renato and friend

Another great sensation we can all share is oiling up one another for pit wrestling. I can’t find the words to describe how it feels to have three or four of your dearest friends gently massaging that ‘baby oil’ into the most intimate parts of your body, and the pleasures of slipping and sliding your body against an opponent…


At home, Dave will often sit on my knee as we talk, arm usually flung across my upper back, fingers gently rubbing my shoulder muscles as his head leans on the opposite shoulder. Call us soppy if you will.


I rest my head on his chest, and I can feel his sturdy heartbeat. I like to think that our hearts beat as one.

At other times, his touch can be harsh. As we train on our nail beds to keep in practice for shows, he may jump around on my chest and stomach. We may, now and again, apply a leather strap to each other’s backs, just because we can and we somehow enjoy beating the pain. Makes us a tougher loving couple, if you like. Or just plain weird.

‘Love you, Dave.‘ I’ve expressed my love for Dave just about as publicly as one can – I started writing a book about him as he lay in a hospital bed recovering from a strange event during a performance: it expanded into two books and then I added a finale – four years in our lives, along with our training and performing mates, plus some other unplanned misadventures (I think all misadventures are unplanned, but you know what I mean) and a quick jump ahead at the end to more recent times…

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

…most of all, his incredible love for me is the most ‘touching’ thing about him. We never lose an opportunity to express that love…

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I still don’t believe my luck, even after all these wonderful years, that he could want me. We supported each other through our coming out, and in agreeing to father two amazing kids (the one time we came close to a serious falling out). Dave can be prone to bouts of melancholy – he had a hard time with his mother disappearing from his life at an early age and then reappearing, years later  (all in the books) – when that happens it’s my turn to wipe away the tear and clasp his body to mine…


Understanding one another…


Having fun together…

Tom Gaynor

Most of all, enjoying his touch! Coming next, ‘sight’…




About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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2 Responses to Touching the Boy

  1. Pingback: Feedback Loop | Tony Cavanagh

  2. Pingback: Sense and Sensibility | Tony Cavanagh

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