Feedback Loop


I’m putting the ‘5 senses of having a gay partner’ theme on hold whilst I explore something else altogether. For some time I have been asking myself ‘where is this blog going’…there must be a limit to how many times I can try and liven up a description of the everyday life and times of Tone – coaching gym and the occasional performance…

I made no secret of the original purpose of this blog: to get some sales of my three books ‘Loving the Boy’, ‘The Power of Love’ and ‘Against All Odds’. That has been thwarted along the way by the publisher repeatedly changing the URLs which lead to descriptions of my books, each time without telling me. And of course I didn’t check for ages… until the complaints started arriving. There are now more than 500 posts here and no simple way that I know of for changing all those links, so I just have to hope that most readers start exploring with the more recent posts. Amazon and Kindle can lead folks there directly, of course.

So such complaints are one form of feedback. Most ‘comments’ offering themselves for posting here are clunky computer-generated messages from Japan or Eastern Europe containing embedded links to sites selling fake Gucci handbags and sites bristling with malware and viruses. Obviously they get ‘spammed’.

Most comments arrive by e-mail to They break down into three main categories: praise and support (the vast majority), negative (then just don’t come here!! – GO AWAY!), and just plain weird. As people use the e-mail to keep their communications more private, I only post them or refer to them with the writer’s permission.

The weird ones are fun (sometimes). Depressed people who want a friend; people who want to inveigle themselves into my private life, often by offering to do things for me; people suggesting fetishes and weird sex and hoping for an invite, and so on. And people who pick up inconsistencies.

(Pause for a fitness picture – the other thing the blog has morphed into…)


Because the books are basically about real people, in a number of cases names have been changed. One thing I did without realising it was to change the (real) name of Zach’s mum, Danielle, into Daniella in mid story. Fortunately the publisher’s editor queried that. Even today, I’m not sure which is right. Then, as the books progress in ‘real time’, I had to recall the events and conversations from past times and, obviously, create sensible dialogue which would have occurred in them. More than once I couldn’t remember exactly who was present and, certainly, once, I found myself writing dialogue for someone who had exited the room two pages previously. The perils of being an author…

…but then, I have come across another modestly gay book from the same publisher where the author clearly changed his mind about the outcome of a scene and re-wrote it but left the original one in so, reading the book in one sitting whilst in bed in a hotel in Madrid (as you do) I had a ‘Groundhog Day’ experience and seem to have been the first person to realise that and draw attention to it. The publisher was, shall we say, a bit red-faced.

But it’s all too late when the books are out there.

Then there are the doubters, who want to drive over and check us out, either in TN or in Wales when we’re there. Guys, we do like to have a private life. And when I say that, people get ‘huffy’. Of course, the internet is a great ‘invisibility cloak’… as readers have pointed out, I could be a teenage Japanese girl having gaming-like fantasies (‘Konichi-wa!’) or a middle-aged Lithuanian fisherman with nothing else to do on watch (‘Labas!) – or maybe a fat, balding Austrian tram driver (Wieder hallo! Ich heiße Fritz! Ich bin einer Wiener “Bim”fahrer! Gestern geh’ ich funfmal über der Linie “D” aus Südbahnhof nach Nüssdorf und zuruck!’)… [I’m better at German than Lithuanian or Japanese!]. Sadly (well, maybe not ‘sadly’), I’m not any of those things: just a stupid fitness freak who enjoys acrobatics and also tried to make a few dollars/pounds/euros out of some gay books.

So tell me what you want. The options are:

♥ Shut up and go away;

♥ Stay as we are with tales of gayness and fitness based on ‘real life’ with occasional commentaries on relevant events around the world;

♥ Stop writing about how wonderful Dave, my friends and the kids are and think of something else to blog about;

♥ Default to just posting the pictures of physiques we can admire and guys using their muscles;

♥ Some combination of the above (you can choose more than one).

And, in case the feedback (if any) points to last of these options (pictures), I’ll end here by feeding you some more ‘back’ pictures!












dan 1 3



tumblr_nc5fltVBoi1qfd9cso1_1280So, go on! Get ‘back’ to me…


PS – My feedback: that last picture, and the blond guy lit from the left – those are the two that really ‘do it’ for us…


About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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1 Response to Feedback Loop

  1. Paul says:

    Beautiful as always. Perhaps a bit less about some personal psychological histories.
    The love story is so fine; the photos are perfection.

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