World News = ‘Gay News’, Apparently

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Chilling out between training and shows here on the circus tour in Oregon, I’ve finally had a chance to catch up on events in the outside world thanks to my e-subscription to newspapers from my country (UK) and local stuff. Seems there’s a drought in Brazil and more floods in the UK, like last winter. And we’re responsible for both.

That’s ‘we’ as in ‘we gay people’. Pastor’s in Brazil are thumping their tubs about the recent Gay Pride march…‘When the skies close up and there is no rain, because the people have sinned against You…’

That’s ‘You’ as in ‘God… yep, we’re causing a drought just by existing and following the natural instincts that this ‘God’ saw fit to place in us. Meanwhile, back in the UK, the somewhat strange UKIP political party is unable to forget that one of it’s people blames floods in Somerset on ‘Gay Marriage’. The ‘Somerset Levels’ are a very flat place only marginally above sea level and close to a seriously muddy river estuary which silts up and which has the second highest tides in the world after The Bay of Fundy in Newfoundland. Maybe they could have been put somewhere better if there hadn’t been gay people…

Yep, they’re out to get us. Anyone who… well:

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Maybe I should market keyrings with the BOOKS…

Cover1 ThumbCover2 ThumbCover 3 Thumb(Just click on covers for more explanation!)

Alternatively, I suppose we could just REMOVE OURSELVES:

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Except that may not be enough! Super gay-hater Vladimir Putin has apparently chosen to go to the G20 summit in Brisbane Australia accompanied by four warships equipped with enough firepower to dispose of the Aussies and New Zealand as well in one push of a button. I don’t think that he can blame his invasion of eastern Ukraine on us gay folks, but you can never quite be sure. He’s apparently thrown a sulk and is leaving early because all the other world leaders have been nasty to him, including UK’s own David Cameron, who could be blamed by Putin for the whole mess I suppose because of his personal support for gay marriage in the UK. Putin would love this:

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Sadly, not all the western leaders are on best behaviour either. My adopted country’s blessed leader Obama had his people demand that the Aussies remove a huge traffic island so that his armour plated limo didn’t have to slow down. Happily the Aussies told Obama’s people in their customary direct manner exactly where Obama’s limo could go!

I’m not done with this yet: ‘The Imitation Game’ , a film about the brilliant gay mathematician Alan Turing who cracked the Nazi Enigma code in WW2 just opened in UK and probably everywhere else that has an interest. Turing, you may know, was made to undergo forced sterilisation (by the forerunners of Cameron’s government) and finally committed suicide –  there was an early tragedy too, which I had not heard of – an early lover at his school died suddenly aged just 18. Tragic. But that is not the story. The film has been widely criticised for ( i ) letting innocent ‘children’ hear and see references to him being gay and for (ii) covering up his gayness (!!). Seems you can’t win. One specific criticism by the gay-friendly side was that they had made him seem too macho to be gay by showing him running. Actually he ran marathons!

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So no nasty gays in that picture then… gay people are obviously too effeminate to participate in sports!!!

I have nine seriously close very sporty gay friends and a large number of less close friends, gay and straight, who happily participate together in sports like wrestling and weight training. Are we all wrong – we should be ‘Queens’, in makeup and wearing beads…? That’s the only kind of gay, then? Bo**ocks!!

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And as for combining sport and acrobatics – well, maybe you have to be seriously gay to do that:

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So look out Oregon, there’s gonna be a flood. Or a drought. Maybe both! All I know at the moment is that, where we are, it is bloody cold.

End of rant. Honestly. I’ll just be happily labelled as the ‘man-eater’ I guess I am, and I’ll keep out of the cave!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t dare suggest that any of these are gay…

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…or try to guess how many of these…

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Nah, I feel better having got that off my chest. Let’s just carry on as we are, enjoying the male form which we appreciate and try to perfect… got to stop now because show time for todays first house approaches and, as the panto season also approaches (Brits will understand this), the final picture for today is captioned “BEHIND YOU!!”

behind you!

 

 

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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One Response to World News = ‘Gay News’, Apparently

  1. Pingback: You Don’t Have to be Gay… | Tony Cavanagh

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