Meet the ‘Inbetweeners’


I’ve stolen the title of today’s post from London’s ‘The Times’ newspaper of today’s date, August 18th… I devour the on-line version avidly for sensible news of home (UK) which it is impossible to get from US news media.

The post about the recently-arrived new-gay-kid-on-the block (“Hey Jude”) caused a flurry of e-mail comments, ranging from “Good for him” for being so open in a group of ‘unknown’ peers at the High School to “He’d better be careful in that Bible Belt” to a thought that the until-recently homophobic father of Leo’s mate Ryan might seek to withdraw his son from the school locker-room! I hope we’re through that one, but all the points are valid. And a week after it was pointed out to me that the KKK are leafleting in Louisiana for all gays to be killed off “…to prevent HIV/AIDS…” (thanks for that one, Ian), the most extraordinary statistics emerge from a survey of British youth.

In a YouGov survey (that’s the statistics arm of the British government at work), 49% of 18-24yos defined themselves as exclusively heterosexual; 6% as exclusively gay, and the remaining 45% as BETWEEN THE TWO.

There were no declared narcissists…


…nor Oedipus types!

The percentage of “effectively bisexual” falls off from that astonishing 45% as the age range surveyed increases… down to 7% in the over 60s.

So why is the profile changing in such an unexpected way? It cannot all be down to Miley Cyrus and Cara Delevigne… And another interesting fact is that the same 18-24 age group when asked to define their sexuality in the last UK official census (a much more formal affair with forms filled in by ‘The Head of the Household’), only 2.6% defined themselves as gay rather than this 6%. So there may be biases in the way the question is asked, or who asks it, or that fact that you are identified by name in the census… perhaps determining how honest the respondents feel able to be… maybe they haven’t come out to their families, for example.

I had always felt that around 7% of the population being profoundly gay was about right…


…with the largest proportion thereof being men…


…and our extensive household is obviously massively atypical, with four gay men, two gay women and two straight kids under one roof.

But it’s the ‘inbetweeners’ that fascinate me… the apparent bisexuals. Is it just curiosity? Is it ‘don’t know yet – haven’t decided‘? Is it ‘I’ll try it both ways then decide’? Is the young generation just more honest with themselves, and with others, about their preferences? And has there been a genuine change, through time? All fascinating, and I can’t answer those questions. Neither does the newspaper article!

Dave and I? Always been gay…


…but when those two girls asked us with such emotion to be the fathers of their kids, we didn’t resort to AI – we managed to do it the conventional way, supporting each other and with help (it has to be said) from gay friends – my first book Living the Dream will explain.

And now – if philosophy is not the flavour of the day for you, fear not: here is the remedy – fit young men showing us what they’ve got and what they can do with it!

W010527 (1510)








OK, I squeezed in a plug for the first book already – here are the other two. Just in case…

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

All in all, our discovery of gay love, gay life and times, acrobatics and circus, some fun and some ‘not-such-fun’. e-versions as well as paperbacks are available from Amazon and other obvious outlets.

And, for today, we finish where we began – gay guys enjoying each other’s company:


…well, more or less where we began. I don’t have any pictures expressing bisexuality – at least, I don’t think that I do!

About tony

Born Northampton UK
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2 Responses to Meet the ‘Inbetweeners’

  1. Pingback: Introducing ‘Xem’ at The University of Tennessee | Tony Cavanagh

  2. Pingback: Fathers and Sons (Continued!) | Tony Cavanagh

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