On Being Gay Parents…

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That could be me, or Dave, pondering. It isn’t, but no matter!

Another post inspired by reading my British newspapers online. Two lesbians, who have a child (one of them the natural mother), are fighting in the courts. The biological mother, having split from her partner, has taken the child overseas. The remaining partner is suing on the grounds of ‘parental rights’. I guess this situation is a potential minefield for any gay couple – perhaps even those who adopt, where such is permitted – if there is a split.

It made me ponder our situation. Two gay dads, two lesbian moms, and our two kids. The kids spent their early years mainly with their moms in one household, but a significant amount of time with us, their dads. One lesbian and one gay parent per child, obviously, and both ‘biological’. Well, maybe not obviously, but so it was. See the books (below!). And the kids were almost always together, and grew up thinking of themselves as brother and sister – and very nearly as twins. Just four days apart, in fact.

A couple of years ago circumstances changed, and the households combined in what was originally Dave’s father’s house. The one with the training cabin at the top of the yard, in which we all spend so much time. So our kids – now almost 14 years old – live each with their mom and their dad – in fact, they more or less have two moms and dads each. Happily we do not plan to split, in any manner. So, thank God (if there is one), everyone is happy. Me, in regard to my son Leo… I’m deliriously happy!

Yes, our situation is unusual… and there is another gay couple in the same (thankfully large) house, Dave’s brother Pete and his partner. We all get along. That’s because we all share the same interests – fitness, acrobatics, performing…

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(best use for a garage if you don’t have a training cabin like us!)

Very occasionally the unusual situation of our kids can turn round and bite them… I’ve narrated various issues in this blog… but ask them if they are happy and I know what answer you will get. And they are old enough to defend themselves against any homophobic abuse, which happens occasionally even though they are both as straight as they come (which some people cannot accept even as possible, with them having gay parents). Even more, I’m proud to say, I get to hear of them defending us as well, although they don’t easily talk about it. But, treating them as adults pays handsomely…

I think we’re ALL blessed, really.

Those books then, which explain how Leo and Jaymee came to be:

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

You can get e-books if you prefer. Same ISBNs.

And now the fitness ‘promotion’ continues!

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…and finally, for today, another ‘double act’ (no implied sexuality!).

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Oiled for the photo? Or have they been wrestling? the background guy has a strange look… Your guess is as good as ours…

…and that wraps up today’s post!

 

 

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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2 Responses to On Being Gay Parents…

  1. finnwest2015 says:

    What a beautiful blog. I look forward to following.
    Finn

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