“We Just Do” – with Subtext!

763[1]Over the time that my books have been out there, and over the time of this blog, I have received quite a few questions – many of which can be answered by the simple (but profoundly unhelpful!) phrase “Because we just do!” (or “Because I just do!”). I thought it might be amusing (to me anyway) to relate some of them here, perhaps with a bit of additional (and perhaps unnecessary) explanation.

Let’s start with the question which could be put to all readers of this blog. “Why do you like looking at pictures of fit and well-built young guys…? (Today’s Gallery Theme):

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Do you need an answer? Choose from all or any combination of “We admire them and try to be like them,” “We’re gay, so what do you expect – girls?” – “They illustrate what we encourage everyone to try for,” “Sport is good for you – look at the results…”

OK. Let’s dig a little deeper. “Why do you love another man and not a woman?’ Just saying the ‘gay’ word is perhaps not sufficient an answer here, but I am what I am and I like what I like. Hard to add to that…

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..except to mumble something about the wiring in my brain being how it is. Some have said ‘Was it a choice?’ and that’s a fair question, to which I think that the answer is “No.”

“Why do you [and your partner] share your (physical and mental) love with eight other guys?” That’s an interesting question, and defines a very special bond between the eight of us (there was, once, a ninth, but he found monogamous love with another great guy and went to Florida). The bond is fundamentally acrobatics and fitness, and was not my idea but Zach’s, who had suffered losses of several friends in CA to AIDs and was determined that his new friends in TN should not suffer the same fate, but equally should share the joy of gay adventures. So he made the suggestion that we could be an intimate but closed group (initially four), and we have all stayed true to the vital requirement – no full-on sex, protected or not, with anyone outside the group.

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“What’s so great about going shirtless and barefoot whenever you can?” Not about showing off, although we are proud of the results of our intensive weight and flexibility training (which we need as acrobats): in the essentially favourable climate here in TN we love the sun on our backs and the wind on our chest – and being naturally tanned (apart from boosting our Vitamin D) saves us needing to use make up in performances (where going topless and barefoot is almost essentially to avoid overheating and to give good contact between the performers for balancing and so forth).

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“Why do you enjoy training naked?” ‘Gymnastics’ literally means ‘The Naked Art’, but perhaps that is not a good enough answer. We’re going to be raising a sweat, and wet sweaty clothes cling. As for the last mile (undershorts coming off!) I don’t really have a sensible answer and, indeed, there is an argument against it in a shared gym in regard to potential hygiene issues on the benches and seated resistance machines (although everyone is mandated to shower and clean up before training…). But that is how it always has been in Chad’s private facilities and in our own cabin, and we don’t really think twice about it. Of course, when training is followed by wrestling (for fun)), getting up close, skin against skin, with another fit, muscular guy is (for the reasons stated earlier) a rather pleasant experience…

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“You go on all the time about having a special affection for Dave’s feet!” OK, true. Is that a question? I don’t have an answer to that, except that I do seem to have a minor fetish for any clean feet, and Dave’s are perfect… those sweet-smelling soles against my face as I wake, his arm snaking around me before he tries to get a little bit more intimate… and, of course, since in our acrobatic routines we are all climbing on one another barefoot, “hygiene rules OK!” so we don’t really have anything against bare feet either.

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“Do all gay men like to put another man’s penis in their mouths?” Actually, not sure I need to answer that except to say that most do indeed like to do that, as a way of exciting their partner in preparation for the next stages of gay sex. A related question perhaps is “Do you like licking your partners?” That’s come up several times, and I confess to snaking my tongue out if I’m up against a strong and sweating colleague – that salty manliness makes us feel like a special bonding and perhaps we’re feeling that we’re sharing our muscle power in some very close way… dunno exactly. Perhaps the sub-text here is just “We’re weird.” In many gay encounters, men are drawn to armpits and that rather ‘manly’ scent therein – being accepted in this quasi-intimate way is a part (for me) of knowing I am fit to be accepted by other males, which has always struck me as a closer bond (and one harder to make) than being attractive to a female (which is just the law of the jungle)…

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The first part...The second part...Cover 3 ThumbI think that’s enough questions for one post, except perhaps to stay that if you do have questions, you can post comments or mail me at gymacrobat@gmail.com. I pause here to identify the books that I mentioned (you can click on the covers for more information and check out e-version too from the usual outlets)… then we’ll move on to more great-looking guys, starting with another armpit…

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So – any questions/comments on this selection?

Or these:

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

Don’t be afraid to ask! One final pic then – Asian perfection on a London rooftop!

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About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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3 Responses to “We Just Do” – with Subtext!

  1. Platinumby says:

    The answers to your readers’ questions were interesting. i think the main thing that might baffle your readers is the rather unique household in which you live. Two gay men sharing a house with two lesbian women, all raising their children together is undoubtedly statistically rare to begin with. Add to that the unique sexual liasons of you and your man, the mix gets a little more unique–and confusing to some readers. Then mix in your own teen kids and their friends. It’s like “Leave It to Beaver” turned inside out and turned into origami. Add the parents of the kids’ friends and various outsiders into the mix. The fact that it all works and you never saw the child welfare people at your door (You’re in Bible thumpin’ Tennessee.) makes the story even more interesting. Somehow, I’d love to see this family unit for myself to see how it all really works. Fascinating.

    • tonycavanagh says:

      Interesting comment and this deserves a response. Let’s start with child welfare. The school, their sports coaches, family doctor and indeed the maternity hospital at the time – and all other interested parties are fully aware of our ‘interesting’ domestic situation, and the kids are always open about it. In my country, UK, it is particularly interesting that welfare authorities with children ‘in care’ are increasingly placing them with gay couples – in one recent case, I preference t their biological grandparents. TN, and USA in general, may be a little backward here but in Europe, ‘gay is OK’. Additionally, both kids are evidently hetero as demonstrated by their attention to the opposite sex, and so have not been ‘turned’ by the domestic environment! So they enjoy the attention of six adults, four of whom are their parents and each sort of thinks of having two mums and two dads.

      As for being naked around the home and in our weights cabin – this also may seem inappropriate in fusty TN but in Europe it is common for families to meet up for naturist vacations, play sports that way, and so forth – in Germany there are nearly 150 vacation locations where families to meet up and enjoy what they term ‘Frei Korper Kultur’. I guess we all think nothing of it – but we’re not about to go around naked where others can see us. Shorts (at least) are mandated crossing the yard to get to the training cabin.

      So, yes – “We Just Do” – amongst ourselves. The only ‘complaint’ I can recall is about Leo’s tendency to strip of his shirt at every opportunity during outdoor free time in school, sometimes inappropriate perhaps, and get reprimanded for it. The phys ed coaches just gave up moaning at him and now half the boys class does the same. At least he dresses properly for math class!

      Thanks for the thoughtful comment, anyway.

  2. Pingback: More Questions… | Tony Cavanagh

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