Moms and Dads – The Right Balance

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Teenboy at play. Not known to us, but no doubt well looked after by a mum and a dad and with an additional (average) 1.4 siblings. My own teenboy, along with Dave’s teengirl, are a wee bit special in that, since their births within three days of one another, they have effectively had two dads and two moms each. The two moms living together as a lesbian couple, and the two dads as a gay couple. Most recently with everyone in the same household. And the kids have grown up thinking of one another as brother and sister, although they are not.

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Like the teen boys shown here (in pictures widely circulating on the internet) they have busied themselves with normal teen things – and some more unusual ones relating to acrobatics and sideshow stuff. But they have never been short of parents around to give care and encouragement, since all four adults involved here have effectively parented both kids. And they seem to have thrived on it, and grown up happily and confident.

I have been accused once or twice of making our lifestyle sound too idyllic to be even possible. Such critics probably haven’t noticed the bad stuff – like my DVT in 2014 for a start! Not always so idyllic! Fortunately, legs – and one’s self-esteem – can recover.

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Now – for the point of this story, we move to Toronto. To a house where a guy lives with his second wife. Next door lives his first wife. The two boys from the first marriage live in both houses, sleeping alternate nights. All five individuals involved seem to be totally at ease with the arrangements. In parallel with our own situation, except for the gay angle, those boys have three parents… not four, because the divorced wife has not re-married. But they live together in perfect harmony, and everyone, including the second wife (step-mum) loves the boys. And crossing the shared driveway to collect a missing piece of sports kit before school (for example) – or to get help with homework – could not be easier.

So, multiple parenting is not unique to us. Good for them, I say – and since their whole story is coming out as a book by the first wife Brandie Weikle (“The Ex Next Door: A New Generation of Parents is Defining Life after Divorce”) and she has a blog… www.thenewfamily.com – you can all read about it if interested. And she positively promotes co-parenting after divorce – see link to a Facebook group – which has to be a good thing as we have watched the torment of Karla, my son Leo’s main love interest, over her parental feuding. Karla is now settling back in with her father after initially taking off with her mother. That brings her back to her old school, and to Leo, which suits them both fine.

Brandie’s blog promotes something else dear to our hearts too, which I’ll take up in the next post (Clue: FKK).

cover1-thumbcover-3-thumbcover2-thumbSo, what goes around comes around, as they say. To any kid that respects his or her parents, having more than two can only be an advantage! How exactly we came to create our own particular situation is all in these books, so you can research at your leisure and learn more about our gay love, our acrobatic career, and our misadventures. ‘Kindle’ versions are available as well as print books.

And from book promotion (the original main purpose of this blog) to male fitness promotion (the current main purpose!) – but do give books a try. They were quite common before i-phones and stuff took over… !

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That is the same boy as the one in front of the red drape, back in his gym and stretching his back. Gymnasts must always strive for flexibility as well as strength. Here are two young acrobats making just that point:

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Stretching with weights – good. Broken arm – BAD!

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And now, combining stretching with balance, the next necessity for gymnastics:

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Even the feet need to be stretched, as this balancing ballet boy illustrates for us:

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Now let’s return to strength/muscle, and the creation of fine-looking bodies: here, for starters, the perfect athletic build…

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Gym selfies are great for showing off your progress…

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…while, for developing core strength, holding the ‘plank’ is a classic:

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Climbing a rope is great for shoulders and arms:

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…but don’t get confused which way is ‘up’…

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Finally, let’s return to the gymnasium and put all this into practice on the parallel bars!

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I’ve featured younger guys in this set of pictures, but older guys should not be put off. It works for us all!! And parents, if any are reading this: now go ahead an inspire the kids into some physical activity!

 

 

 

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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3 Responses to Moms and Dads – The Right Balance

  1. Platinumboy says:

    I’m glad you mentioned parents at the end. One of the reasons I encourage you occasionally to include “fitness families” is to encourage fitness as a family endeavor. Too often, parents either let their kids get into sports without being involved themselves (and not knowing what goes on behind the scenes), or do not provide a good fitness example themselves. Perhaps showing family fitness would be an encouragement.

  2. Pingback: ‘Schmeissing’, Anyone? | Tony Cavanagh

  3. Pingback: ‘Schmeissing’, Anyone? | Tony Cavanagh

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