Today’s Picture Theme: Guys who Could Make Great Security Guards.
Let me explain. Not on duty this morning after a show last night, so up around sunrise (about 7am at the moment here) to enjoy the morning rays with breakfast. Dave pulled on his shorts to go down and get the newspaper (always one day behind for British newspapers, being on the Algarve, but we’re getting used to that): I to the kitchen preparing toast and marmalade and tea for breakfast (yes, very British!), and I took it up to the roof terrace. Dave returned muttering something about a guy in a suit wandering around outside the next-door apartment, and I remembered that guests were expected there – senior people apparently – so thought nothing of it.
So there we are – Dave buried in the newspaper, me making stupid remarks like ‘we need a toast-rack’. Without lifting his eyes from the paper, Dave lifts up his leg and plonks his foot on the table. ‘There you are.’ Now Dave has the most delicious toes and soles on the planet and we sometimes enjoy feeding each other tasty items from our toes. so I fall for it and jam a couple of slices of toast right there in his ‘Toes-t-rack’, ready to nibble! Sorry for that awful pun, although actually it’s rather good.
So there I am, getting ready to enjoy a crafty bite, when I catch sight of another guy in a suit, standing on top of the six-foot-high ‘privacy’ wall which divides our roof terrace from the one for the next apartment. A wall designed to ensure ‘privacy’ with a connecting door which can only be opened when both sides unlock it, except in case of fire when there is an override to reach the fire escape. This guy is standing there, gazing unashamedly at my naked self and my partner. ‘What the f***!!!’
We were both pretty wild, but Dave, usefully wearing his ‘staff’ shorts at the time, went ballistic, yelling at him about privacy, reporting him for trespass, violating rules and running at him as if to leap up and knock him flying backwards on to his own side. Then we heard a Russian-speaking man call to the guy from the other side, and he jumped down.
Needless to say, there were two pretty angry employees in the main office when it opened this morning: ‘If we can’t be private here in what amounts to our own home then we’ll leave!’ and so forth.
Bloody Russian oligarch, I suppose. Probably a principal financer of this enterprise, living in fear of retribution (for something) from Putin’s assassins. Well, makes a good story anyway. Frankly, if you want to draw unwelcome attention to yourself, bringing inappropriately-dressed heavies with you is a sure way of doing it!. Apparently there are more of them, sharing an ordinary apartment and working shifts. We’re waiting for an apology from the visitors – whoever they are – but I don’t expect we’ll get one. At least they might get the idea that having their heavies strutting around the place sweating in suits when everyone else is in swimwear or less is rather setting them up as targets when the assassins arrive! ‘And while we’re on the subject of security….’ (Dave was in full flow this morning) …we pointed again out the obvious flouting of the ‘no smartphones or cameras’ rule in the naturist parts of the ‘family’ area – basic child protection. So they’ve had an army of employees there on the lookout this morning and reminding folks of the rules.
Oh well, a bit of ‘rough’ to go with the general ‘smooth’ I suppose. And teaching kids some basic acrobatics to look forward to later.
OK. That was our choice of ‘heavies’, more suitably dressed! I’m sure all of the pictured guys (whoever they are) are perfect pussy cats when you get to know them, so no implications intended! All welcome to call round!
And so, time to get ready for work!