“Beef not Cooked in Rind of Bacon (5)”

Aha – a crossword clue for you. Here’s a pictorial clue for you as well:

Got it? The clue is the boy, not the newspaper. ‘Rind of Bacon’ means the edges – i.e. the outside letters ‘R’ and ‘B’. ‘Uncooked’ = ‘RAW’, giving us B.RAW.N… Brawn! “Beef!” Muscle! One of our favourite topics here!

OK, so what’s brought this on? For the last two weeks we have had members of a Russian bodybuilding club here, sweating their brawny way through hours and hours in our gyms. This week, another party of guys arrived from  Slovak gym – allegedly on some sort of ‘stag’ do, but actually spending much more time in our gyms refining their bodies than in the normal haunts of ‘stag’ dos! Naturally they talked and lifted together, and then someone suggested a ‘friendly’ BB competition, which it fell to us to organise.

The weather being what it is now – after all, it is December – we organised the event in our permanent tent gym extension which includes a boxing ring which doubled as the stage, allowing an ‘audience’ of about 30 people to watch the 15 contestants. ‘Judges’ were drawn from other interested residents (including some ladies!) and the staff gym team (i.e. Dave and I, Alfredo and Seb, plus our visiting masseur and lifter/acrobat Zach). we insisted on three rounds, each to include some static posing and some moving around as the contestants saw fit. No fake tan allowed.

Round 1 was jeans, barefoot and shirtless.

Round 2 was ‘Speedos’ or similar. Some contestants interpreted that as ‘underwear’, which we decided to allow.

The final round was ‘anything goes’ Some dressed up…

…while others, this being the adult-only side and ‘clothes optional’, dressed down…

We needed three ‘winners’, and three top points-scorers eventually emerged from our extremely divided (and downright incompetent!) judging panel… everyone was good natured and ‘in it’ for the fun. The outright winner was given a choice of three prizes to be offered by the resident ‘gym team’:

  1. A morning of acrobatic tuition; (chosen from the three options by the winner);
  2. A morning introduction to the ‘art’ (more science really) of being a ‘fakir’; (chosen, with a little hesitation, by the runner-up from the remaining two);
  3. A selection of wrestling bouts with contestants of his own choice from ‘the team’; (third-placed default prize).

The first two took place yesterday morning and this morning. Fairly straightforward introduction to balance…

…and, for the second, liberal helpings of fire, glass, nails, and block breaking – modelled for us here by a street performer.

Sorry, that one is as large as it gets.

We held the wrestling this afternoon, again in the tented gym. A transient audience, on average about 20 guys, saw the third-placed winner take on first Seb, who he felt sure he could beat. True!

Then the trunks came off to leave jocks, and this time he chose Zach, who needed no time at all to flatten the guy, who was already visibly tiring after his first bout.

Finally, we suggested oil, and he suggested me. Time taken oiling a muscly guy, especially one you have never been close to before, is time well spent for any gay guy!. I did him, and taught him how to ‘do’ me.

Briefs still on for the initial oiling up, but they didn’t last long. Non working hours for me, so that was OK – not breaking the staff dress code (which barely exists and pretty much expects shirt-free anyway for gym and pool guys)… he had got his breath back and proved a hard nut to crack, with both of us close to submission several times before I finally floored him with a version of the ‘spladdle’ which he couldn’t slip out of. All in all, a pretty ‘fun’ time which pleased ‘management’ because it encourages good memories of time spent here such that people will want to come back… at least, that’s the theory. ‘Next time’, said management, ‘Charge admission and give us half!’. We have an excellent relationship with ‘management’, I’m glad to say.

Now we have to think up ever more diverse entertainments for winter visitors, the outdoor auditorium being just too cold to sit around in except when there is direct sun… max today was just 16C in the early afternoon and evening shows are definitely not palatable to an audience required to sit in the open air at night with less than 10C temperatures now.

So there we are… another day, another Euro…

OK. Quick reminder of something important:

Buy any or all of those, and that will get me a few more Euros to encourage the continuation of this blog and the completion of the fifth book. Let The Future Find Me is just out – a short novel about a young Native American guy at war with his sexuality who leaves his community in search of – something. Maybe his true love, who knows for sure – until you get to the end! You can click on covers for more information.

And now some more BRAWN:

Just one more for tonight – fair to say I’m a wee bit tired…



About tony

Born Northampton UK
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1 Response to “Beef not Cooked in Rind of Bacon (5)”

  1. Pingback: Research: ‘The Sweat Spectrum’ | Tony Cavanagh

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