We Are What We Are

Hard on the heels of me discussing how identical twins can end up with different sexualities (and therefore “it’s not the genes that ‘make’ you homosexual”), out comes another study which says that it is the genes! This time it is the NorthShore University Health System Research Institute in Illinois, which claims to have studied 1077 homosexual men and 1231 straight men and identified two genes which seem to determine sexuality (if only indirectly). One assumes that these genes are dominant in the homosexual sample. One is associated with the hypothalmus area of the brain which governs sex drive, and the other with the thyroid which (apparently) is related to sexuality.

So there you have it. Two clear-cut pieces of research claiming opposite reasons for me being what I am. Discuss!

It reminds me a line from the book/play “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie”. ‘For those that like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing that they like!’ Indeed. I know what I like.

I like to be in the company of other men in preference to women.

I love another man and we both share that love with eight other men with whom we have sworn a close bond to maintain celibacy except within the group so that we can continue to enjoy one another in total confidence that we shall be untroubled by an sexuality-transmitted diseases.

I admire the male body and am fortunate to be in a job where I can do exactly that throughout my working day.

I encourage and promote fitness and physical skills in both myself and other guys.

I encourage young men and boys to train and to follow a fitness pathway, including coaching lifting, gymnastics and acrobatics – but I am not a paedophile. With the under-aged I am always happy to involve the parents and all stages of the training. I do not believe that there is a significant link between being a homosexual man and paedophilia, although I have to acknowledge that there does appear in some accounts to be such a link, at least in the brains of heterosexuals.

I am not ashamed of being gay but, in contrast to some common beliefs, as a gay man I do not set out to ‘convert’ others to homosexuality. Indeed, I do not believe that to be possible. I am what I am… I am proud to be me.

That’s how I came to write three books based on my experiences of finding gay love (Dave) and sharing our love of acrobatic sports, meeting the other like-minded folk, going touring and so forth.

Loving the Boy: ISBN 978-1-907732-30-0

The Power of Love: ISBN 978-1-907732-41-6

Against All Odds: ISBN 978-1-908645-35-7

Very recently I’ve published a new novel which also happens to feature a gay lad – a lost soul in search of his future – and I’m very proud of it:

Let The Future Find Me: ISBN 978-1-784653-23-1

The next one, as it happens, will feature a straight guy – another quest, but I’ll keep that under wraps for now.

So there it all is, in black and white. No obvious solution to the question ‘Why Am I Gay?’ as yet. It would be interesting to know – to have it set out in black and white with 100% corroboration – but the obvious conflicts between different scientific studies suggest that they have some way to go before we get to know the truth.

And, following that ‘black and white’ theme, I continue this post with black and white images that I like – because they feature lads and their bodies that I, along with my gay mates,, can admire.

About tonycavanagh

Born Northampton UK; school Oxford UK and Oak Ridge Tennessee, where I met my wonderful partner Dave, also from UK. Oak Ridge is our main training base for acrobatics and circus stuff, but we also established a base in Wales (UK) to serve us when we are working in Europe. Our 'story', of finding gay love, learning the acrobatics trade and then of how we got shot at during our show (and worse was to follow - just to prove that the risks of being an acrobat are not always the most obvious ones!) are now available in my three books 'Loving the Boy', 'The Power of Love' and 'Against All Odds'. Links available on most blog posts. Actually, waiting for the imminent arrival of the first printed copies was far scarier than anything we do in performance. A fourth book - not about us but exploring the sadness of a gay Native American boy denied his true identity - is currently with an agent for evaluation. watch for 'Let The Future Find Me' in due time. And now to book five... another boy, another quest... seems its always boys...
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One Response to We Are What We Are

  1. Platinumboy says:

    I think you have simply made a choice, one you have the right to make. I don’t really believe science has found an answer. About 30 years ago, I heard about a scientific study that stated that some gay men in a study had larger medulla oblongatas than some straight men in the same study, but that not all gay men had the larger medulla oblongata, so the size of the MO determined gayness. That made no sense. The truth is, you made this choice (speaking of your whole lifestyle), and that is fine. After all, you have what I’m sure most would consider a very unique lifestyle. You are in a committed gay relationship with one man. However, you also share a relationship with six other men who share a relationship among the group of eight. On top of that, you also admit that you and Dave apparently don’t mind the occasional experience of sleeping (and I do mean sleeping) with the respective mothers of your children. All of these relationships require a certain level of commitment. I am not exactly sure how you balance the emotional commitment you have to all these different people, not to mention the fact that you and Dave are fathers who will one day probably be grandfathers. Leaving the sex out of the equation, balancing the emotional needs of all these people (just in your personal life alone) competing for your deserved attention simply blows my mind.

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